So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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