That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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