guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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