You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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