it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize