id be glad to
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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