there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
