haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
