she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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