I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize