he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
