I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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