Plan B is the new Plan A
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
