I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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