she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I got inside last night via doggy door
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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