do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize