please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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