When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
