She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
