I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
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While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
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I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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