There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
