I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
