I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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