What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
