I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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