I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
