I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
