I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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