Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He? As in you personified your dick?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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