I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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