Porn is love you can see.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
