made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
