Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
