I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He has the fingertips of a God
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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