Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
