There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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