you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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