I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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