We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
