i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
