i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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