So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
