so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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