Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
