I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize