I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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