Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
