you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
