Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
