The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
