Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
