Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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