We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
