she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
