cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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