4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
