Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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