I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
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If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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