im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
