That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
