Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
