new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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