Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
