I have demons in me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
