How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
