so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize