chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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