Just fell off a train. Bad.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
