So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
